My Journal entry San Francisco October 5, 1983
« I returned from Seattle on Saturday, somewhat apprehensive as to how to relate to Pierre. His immediate approach was (redacted) and we had (redacted) on our arrival home. The next day, Sunday, he seemed distant, irritated by me. When we couldn’t find a restaurant which was capable of immediate service, he seemed happy to send me on my way – that is to eat in the Opera House- so he could eat lunch alone. « Pure (redacted) » as he put it, again on our return home.
Trying to sleep that night, my bladder inflamed, I felt that I hated him for his impositions, for taking his pleasures after having betrayed me. I went into my room to sleep.
The next day, Monday, a heavy heart all day. At French class ; very depressed, lost. Felt like crying as I drove home. Felt abandoned. Bladder irritated so that I feared infection.
Pierre cold, distant, an ice wall of passive resistance. The frustration and pain of a bladder infection merged with the sense of loss, betrayal, abandonment. My tears only vexed him, yes, he was annoyed.
I asked him what had happened, why he had changed in only 2 months, become so cold, so distant and indifferent. Why did he no longer hold me, no longer show any affection ? What had happened ?
He did not deny the change, simply said he had changed, he had no feelings left, was indifferent, needed time alone. I told him I didn’t understand, I wasn’t inclined to cling, I had my own life and left his to him.
Annoyed, he asked « What are you afraid of, are you afraid I will dump you ? » He threw this out as a challenge and I met it. « Yes »
It was so galling to think that our business which I didn’t want, had ruined our relationship, which I did want. And ruined my health as well. Left all in ruins.
I felt ruined, up against the wall of his negation.
I reminded him that I had seen the business through to the bitter end, that I had not shirked on my responsibilities. Did he recognize his responsibilities to me in as much as my health had been ruined ?
He responded that he never let anyone down materially, at least he didn’t fail at that. (Today’s comment. I didn’t pick up on his feelings of failure.)
I didn’t wish to sleep with him. (Maybe at first I went to bed with him but then moved.)
I felt such misery as never felt before. Emotional pain devouring, unrelenting, no ready pain killer available.
Then yesterday I decided on a course of action. I would train myself to write commercially by buying books and studying their style – copying childrens’ books, mysteries à la Agatha Christie, Romances. Study the market and write.
And prepare for the Law Record Exam to enroll in Law School next fall if the writing fell through.
I was obsessed with the idea I had not prepared for a career, had no means of making money, had not established myself and thus remained on an infantile level of development. Powerless where I had power and no means to project it. Lost, undeveloped promise, a waste of mind and talent.
I must prepare to be on my own. When I think thus I feel strong, capable. When I am the wife dominated in bed, I feel helpless, incompetent…
I was cold and businesslike with Pierre and told him I would sleep alone for the next week at least. He said something about depriving myself but seemed a bit upset. Also by my working in my study all evening, leaving him alone…" End of Journal entry.
Heeding my body worker/massage therapist Patricia’s recommendation, I visited Dr. Jimmy Scott for the first appointment on Jan 24, 1984 in San Francisco.
I don’t remember much except I was highly suspicious of him. (He writes « somewhat paranoid ». As it turns out, I had good reason to be « paranoid », though not for financial reasons which was my first thought. His fee was $90 an hour which in 1984 was very high for a non-medical alternative healer. He did heal me so I can’t complain of the price.) His notes follow :
"Endometriosis, was ballet dancer, Took swine flu vaccine, year married 1978, together since 1972, smallpox vaccine 1970 western europe, (married 1967, Mexico 1968 infection). PMS insomnia 4 year especially bad mothers side of the family, MS about 4 years ago , April 1980, signs at least 4 years earlier, recurrent bladder infections 15 years, never had much stamina, not breast fed, amalgam fillings mostly teens, always susceptible to colds etc, had migrains, extreme constipation foul gas, after ovulation symptoms worse, feels speedy, worse in morning, numb, tingling limbs, cold feet and hands after, some vision disturbance in right eye (migraine ?) caused by drug for endometriosis ? Always had severe cramps, mono age 9 ? Operations out – tonsils age 3, appendix age 13, uterus age 23/1972 endometriosis.
Weak nails, pale, born with infected nails !! Burning skin especially when tired and had MS pain, in humidity nerves feel « shorted », somewhat paranoid."
His notes faithfully describe my major health issues, history, what he considers important. I note the 2 vaccinations (which he considers an element in the development of MS), smallpox 1970 and swine flu (70’s). Endometriosis, intestinal problems, menstrual problems.
Mononucleosis at age 9 I now realize is VERY important since all MSers have the Epstein Barr Virus which causes Mono. The question arises after my awareness of the CCSVI blood circulation problem. The EBV virus re-awakens with Oxygen deficiency. Did poor blood circulation leave me vulnerable to the EBV virus, or did the Mono « deform » the veins to cause MS ? Perhaps the homeopathic remedy oscillococcinum would have prevented the illness, and with it the MS ? Another factor,
I can’t remember if Dr. Scott did more that first meeting than take my history and describe the treatment. He said he would determine and treat my allergies, in particular the food allergies, He would prescribe supplements which would help me detoxify in the first instance and nourish me thereafter. He would recommend my personalized ideal diet. And he would do « energy » work he had developed under the name Health Kinesiology (HK). He said he had healed many people including a man with Lung Cancer which the Oncologist was astounded to see disappear. (I didn’t know at the time how impressive such a cure could be.) I don’t know if he treated me in any way. He gave me instructions for the allergy test to take place on Feb 2, 1984.
While he had 250-300 items on hand – all grains, most nuts, many seeds, beans, peas and most legumes, most herbs and spices, dried dairy products and fruits, I was to bring cooked meat/fish (no added oil or spices etc), vegetables, fruit, eggs, fresh items in general.
Also anything I put on or into my body (like shampoo, perfume
toothpaste, also drugs, supplements vitamins minerals) also cat hair.
He ordered me not to eat, drink, smoke (I don’t smoke) or take drugs/supplements before the appt. I followed his instructions faithfully and prepared the items in multiple baggies which I assembled in a big paper bag to arrive on time for the appointment on Feb 2.
He was eager to begin. I could see he entered into each new patient’s life in a spirit of adventure and discovery, his enthusiasm was infectious.
He began by testing the strength of various muscles, palpating various points on my neck/head after each muscle test until the muscle proved strong. (He would eventually streamline the process. More on that later.)
I expected to ingest each item to be tested, but instead he placed the item on my navel and tested the strength of my right arm which I held up straight in a salute. If the arm remained strong, the item was OK for me, if the arm weakened it meant I was « allergic » to it. He defined allergy in terms of free flow of energy in the meridiens of Chinese medical theory. « Blocked » energy which weakened the test muscle (arm) meant I was allergic to the substance.
I was outraged. How could this be a valid test of anything ?
I nonetheless obediently underwent the whole procedure.
No no foods (as he put it) were :
No Lactose (milk sugar), no dairy
OK (Except old yoghurt, old kefir, old acidophilous milk, brie, camambert, muenster, limburger, morbier cheeses, ghee (pure butter fat).
No wheat, rye, barley oats (glutens)
No legumes – all peas, beans, peanuts, foemugreek, most gums,
No soy – oil, sprouts, sauce, tamari, miso, tofu, lecithin, most Vit E, alfalfa, carob, licorice
No honey
No coffee, tea, sugar, artificial flavors, colors, preservatives
No preserved meat (salami, hotdogs, ham etc.)
Avoid safflower and corn oils (do use, sesame, coconut oils and ghee)
No margarine
No Olive, pineapple, nutmeg, mace, chamomile, sarsparilla
Perfume and various chemical substances also weakened me.
By asking my body questions through the arm muscle he determined the following allergy picture : With overlaps the main allergies were to foods (80-85%), pollens (50-55%), chemicals (5-10%) and misc (5-10%).
My next appt was set for Feb 14 when he would determine my supplements. March 6 he would « fix » or correct the allergies, then determine my ideal diet and also determine emotional issues to be « balanced ».
I was outraged by his technique and feared I was being taken for a sucker by a quack. My friend Gary nearly had a fit when I told him about it. So why did I continue
I had paid for the information and I didn’t see any harm in trying. Also, I trusted Patricia who had recommended Dr. Scott’s treatment.
Dr. Scott told me that withdrawal from substances to which I was allergic (taken in the Kinesiology definition of disturbed energy circulation) would take 5 days. The first 2 or 3 days would be particularly difficult. Allergies create craving like an addiction, their removal brings a painful withdrawal.
For 2 days I lived sheer hell. I can’t remember what lack bothered me most, but I went through withdrawal as surely as if I had been a heroin addict. I can’t even imagine what a drug addict goes through, all I was withdrawing from was coffee, bread, butter, sugar, cakes, salami. My skin crawled, I was miserable.
But then, after the storm, the skies cleared, the sun shone and I could see. For years my right eye hadn’t focused properly, it had made me dizzy when I walked causing me to fear falling. Opthalmologists didn’t believe it was an MS symptom, they didn’t know what it was.
Well, the origin was a food intolerance « allergy ». The only time the vision disturbance returned was when shortly thereafter I took a Sulfa drug for cystitus. Once off the drug, my vision returned. I never re-experienced this disorder.
Now, that was lucky. It made me a believer, gave me the confidence to continue with Dr. Scott.
My next appointment took place on Feb 14. After « balancing » me, he tested supplements, principally Standard Process. These are plant and animal organ dried extracts which penetrate directly into the cells after having been chewed. I’ve been taking them since the February 14, 1984 appointment, that is to say 34 years. Aside from general healing, they have halted all tooth decay. After having removed the amalgam fillings and nickel based crowns in 1985 I’ve had no further dental work other than repair of previous work .
Chiropractor Dr. Michael Flanagan had this to say about Standard Process Supplements on Thisisms.com when I described my 1984-92 healing: CCSVI CCVBP, July 6, 2013 (See my blog post MS Food August 19, 2016.)
"Hello Vesta,
I have all of Dr. Royal Lee's books. He was a remarkable biochemist and organic farmer way ahead of this time. His whole food extracts are more on the order of neutraceuticals and physiological agents than simple vitament supplements. He was big on cofactors in vitamins long before anyone considered the importance of cofactors like rutins, hespirdins, bioflavinoids in vitamen C. Everyone else was focused on and isolating ascorbic acid. I am very familiar with all the Standard Process products. They are highly effective.”
Dr. Scott’s list of supplements was long (and therefore expensive). My needs were reduced fairly rapidly after that first appointment but the first bill shocked my budget. For each item Dr. Scott indicated when (breakfast, lunch, dinner, before bed ?) and how much I was to take. They were listed in order of priority on a form he had created. (Noted at the bottom : A CENTER FOR NUTRITION AND NATURAL HEALING (Copyright 1978, Jimmy Scott, Ph.D.)
A quick overview with daily doses follows: 2 E-Manganese, 4 Cataplex AC, 11 Wachter’s Calcium-Magnesium (not Standard Process), 4 Collagen C, 5 Hepatrophin, 2 Ostogen, 2 Organic Minerals, 2 Folic Acid-B-12, 2 B3-B6,
3 Bio-dent, 1 Inositol, 1 Zinc-Gluconate, 4 G, 3 Choline, 2 F-Perles, 2 tsp total A&E Polymulsion, 2E2, 2 Thytrophin, 3 Calsol, 2 Pancreatrophin, 1 B, 1 Cyruta Plus, 6 Multizyme, 2 Spleen, 2 Cholacol II, 4 Betafood, 2 Betacol, 1 tsp total di-sodium phosphate, 2 Comfrey-Pepsin, 2 Fen-Cho. Extra Max EPA ?
I introduced Evening Primrose Oil to him which tested 240mg per day (80 mg 3 times a day.)
I was frankly in a state of shock given the price and wondered if he was gouging me, since he sold them. He explained that I was in a highly toxic state and the supplements would help me de-toxify while nourishing me.
My next appointment took place on March 6, 1984. His notes indicate that first he fixed the allergies, second determined the diet and third worked on emotional issues.
Through muscle testing he determined that the MS issues were 40-45 % allergy, 10% nutritional deficiency, 40-45% emotional, .5% energy block and .5% unknown.
The endometriosis issues were 15-20% allergy, 10-15% nutritional deficiency, 30-35% emotional, 10-15% energy block, and ?? (not pollens)
I had already eliminated the items to which I was allergic. By this time my diet quality measured 62%. He organized the food items under « raw », « cooked » and « servings per week ». (His form was copyrighted 1982 – Jimmy Scott).
"Vegetables - Starchy, 1 raw, 1 cooked, 2 servings per week.
- Lo starchy, 8 raw, 3 cooked, 11 servings per week
Fruits – Acid 1
Sub-Acid – 1
Sweet – 1
Animal – Eggs, 6 raw, 2 cooked, 8 servings per week
Dairy, 0
Red Meats, 0
Organ Meats, 0
Poultry, 1 cooked, must eat with raw vegetables
Seafood, 4 raw
Nuts - 3 raw
Grains, 4 cooked, soak 8-12 hours
Seeds - 2 raw
Misc. - 3 cooked
Vegie Juice – 12 raw
Avoid these foods for reasons beside allergy – avocado, all sweet fruit, all grains, all high starch
Meals per day – 11
Max food per meal – 1 cup
Water per day – 40-45 oz
Salt per day – 0
Oil per day – ½ tsp
Avocado – 0
Papaya – all"
He also linked food categories in a complicated web – Milk Yoghurt, Fat & Oils, High Proteins, Low Starches, High Starches, Tomato, Acid Fruits, Sub-Acid fruits, Sweet Fruits, Melon (to be combined only with Acid and Sub-Acid fruits)
(An aside. Here in France it is common to eat Melon with Ham. That is a terrible food combination, the melon is digested well in advance of the protein so that it rots in the digestive track.)
This is a complicated, highly idealized diet prescribed by a perfectionist dietition. I did follow the basic outlines. My sister said raw eggs aren’t a good idea. I did begin to eat Sushi at this point. I didn’t soak my grains much. I religiously extracted the vegie juice. I probably drank more water, used more oil, used some salt in contradiction to his orders. But in general I followed his instructions, which meant I lost weight. That wasn't the purpose but there is only so much raw broccoli I want to eat.
I juiced twice a week and kept the raw juice 2 or 3 days, succeeding in drinking 12 cups a week. I had the impression the raw vegie juice penetrated directly into my brain/nervous system, it really gave me a boost.
At this point I wrote him what I would call a high minded MSer letter. Suspicious, authoritarian, exacting. It embarrasses me to think about it and I’ve lost it so can’t print it here. I demanded he provide testimony of results by other patients. I had already spent a great deal of money. I believed he was too interested in money.
He apparently wanted to evict me from his practice but his assistant prevailed upon him to keep treating me. He did give me references to 2 or 3 of his clients. My appt schedule up until that time - (Jan 24, Feb 2, Feb 14, March 6) had cost me $ 360 plus a hefty supplement bill. I needed to get some control over the finances and declared I would thenceforth come but once a month.
His muscle testing bordered on quackery as far as I was concerned. However, his technique worked and eventually healed me.
Within a year I began to study the practice of Kinesiology myself and learned to « muscle test. » After studying the foundation course for Kinesiology, Chiropractor John Thie’s Touch For Health, I took a week-end seminar course given by Dr. Scott of his Health Kinesiology technique. (I also began to study Acupressure at the Berkeley Acupressure Institute.)
Now, I knew Dr. Scott was traveling worldwide to give courses in Kinesiology, he was in the forefront of this new technique. However, he didn’t invent it. Writing this post I realize I knew next to nothing of the history of Applied Kinesiology.
So, let’s start over.
While Dr. Scott used the « ask the body » technique to develop much of his protocol, I believe everyone is treated for the same life issues at the beginning of an AK treatment. I won’t try to define these here, I need the input of a competent Kinesiologist.
Dr. Scott’s « ask the body » technique never uncovered the CCSVI aspect to my MS.
Quotes from www.oneillcollege.com
Reading the O’Neill College History of Kinesiology, I find this quote :
"1920s: American osteopaths, Frank Chapman, DC, and Charles Owen, proposed that many symptoms of diseases had their origins in sluggish lymph flow..."
Then we have :
"1930s: American chiropractor, Terence Bennett, DO, came up with his own model for restoring health based on proper blood flow.Like Chapman, Bennett had worked out his own set of reflex points. He called these ‘Neurovascular Reflexes’ and his body of work ‘Neurovascular Dynamics’.
1937: Chapman and Owen postulated the existence of a new heretofore unrecognised reflex they called the ‘Neurolymphatic Reflexes’ and their findings were published.
1960s: Detroit-based chiropractor,George Goodheart… pioneered a system that brought together work done by his predecessors: Chapman’s Points (for lymphatic function); Bennett’s Points (for vascular function); his own origin/insertion technique (for muscular problems); cranial bone manipulation after William Sutherland, DO."
So now we have points for neurovascular function as well as points for neurolymphatic function, and it is exactly these functions which CCSVI treatment addresses. So apparently I was being treated for CCSVI inadvertently by Dr. Scott.
However, I needed more than the AK neuro-vascular and neuro-lymphatic treatments when I was struck by an « attack » in March 1985. I knew at the time that my decision to leave my husband had triggered the crisis. « Your mind made the decision, but your body refuses to follow » was my thinking at the time. Had I been aware of the CNS fluid circulation CCSVI issue, I could have better addressed the « attack ». The permenent damage wasn’t too important (mainly MS « hug ») and I was forced to retire from active life into contemplation for six weeks. My husband was irritated, I had to patiently explain to him the I had MS and was having an « attack ». His attitude didn’t help his case, it only re-inforced my decision to leave him.
Continued Quotes from O’Neill www.oneillcollege.com
"1972: Goodheart wrote the “vertebral challenge”, based upon the work of upper cervical specialist, Leon Lewis Truscott, DC, PhD; and his work on the muscle-acupuncture meridian-organ relationship using muscle testing feedback for both diagnosis and therapeutic efficacy. Interest in Applied Kinesiology expanded from George Goodheart’s lectures and Applied Kinesiology study groups being led by his best students formed throughout the US.
This marked the beginnings of the new science of Applied Kinesiology.
1973: Initially there were six of Goodheart’s protégéeswho would gather at his practice, and over time then set up study groups. There was a gathering of these study group leaders who became known as the Dirty Dozen…
1979 (sic-Correct date 1972) Chiropractor, John Thie, one of the “Dirty Dozen”, took the basic techniques that had been worked out in Applied Kinesiology and developed a new system that he called ‘Touch for Health’."
(Dr Thie died in 2005 of Prostate Cancer.)
See the following site about Dr John Thie and Touch for Health www.dynamicchiropractic.com/mpacms/dc/article.php?id=50389
Dynamic Chiropractic Sept 14, 2005 A Memorial of Silence for Dr John Thie by Joseph Kating Jr PhD
(My emphasis)
"Wedding AK with his populist sentiments, John believed that many of the methods of AK could be taught to and practiced as a method of self-care for all people. He repeatedly urged Dr. Goodheart to author a text for the public on AK. Although Goodheart was not averse to dissemination of his emerging methods to nonprofessionals, he grew weary of Thie's nudging. Finally, in exasperation, he let Dr. Thie know that if he wanted such a book, John should write it himself.
The prospect of authoring a book was challenging, but John was resourceful. The first edition of Touch for Health: A Practical Guide to Natural Health Using Acupuncture, Touch & Massage, authored in collaboration with then-chiropractic student Mary Marks, was published in 1972. The workbook has since been translated into more than a dozen languages and has sold in excess of 500,000 copies; the method has caught the attention of laymen and health professionals in several disciplines, and has spawned national and international workshops and certification programs.
Ironically, one of the arenas in which the TFH manual and the movement it spawned were not fully accepted was within the ranks of the International College of Applied Kinesiology (ICAK). John, the founding chairman of the ICAK, was not supported in his vision of an AK program for laypeople. Whether for ideological or economic reasons, Dr. Thie's populist ideas were rejected by some of his peers. Thie maintained his membership in the ICAK, but his mission TFH would take him in a different direction. Touch for Health has evolved independently in the years since.
The commitment to train nonprofessionals in TFH/AK procedures required that John think through some of the same issues that confronted the founder of chiropractic. By its very nature, TFH is an unlicensed practice, and nonprofessionals who employ it run some risk of violating medical statutes. John's solution, like that of D.D. Palmer, was to declare the method nontherapeutic. Thie moved away from the integration of AK and chiropractic clinical diagnosis.Touch for Health, he insisted, was aimed not at relieving particular conditions or disorders, but at improving the flow of subtle energy through the meridians of the body so as to enhance health. As well, he taught, TFH could be a useful means for early identification of deviation from health."
Please find below a continuation of quotes from the O-Neill College
History of Kinesiology (Quotes from www.oneillcollege.com)
(my emphasis).
"1982: Alan Beardall established the concept of the body as a “Biocomputer”. This concept determined that the subconscious appears to process data in a binary way…this simple “yes” or “no” response of the muscle is the summation of all the factors influencing the brain and central nervous system, from the level of your structural alignment to your nutritional and emotional status. In addition, the subconscious readout of muscle function is the interface with the other energy systems of the body, including the meridian systems. As such, these “yes” or “no” responses can also indicate states of energetic balance.
Energetic Kinesiology established.
…the muscle response is used primarily as a form of biofeedback. Hence, in these systems you are “monitoring”, not “testing” muscle function. The redefinition of the term “muscle testing” to “muscle monitoring” is to denote that we are now accessing only the integrity of the muscle response, and not its strength. »
These concepts of Biocomputer and Biofeedback describe well Dr. Scott’s work as I understand it. As one can see by the dates, he was working, and doubtless contributing, to the development of Applied Kinesiology.
He told me he began his development of HK Health Kinesiology in 1978. See healthkinesiology.co.nz/origins-of-hk/dr-jimmy-scott/
I began working with Dr. Scott in January 1984. However, I needed more than the AK neuro-vascular and neuro-lymphatic treatments when I was struck by an « attack » in March 1985. I knew at the time that my decision to leave my husband had triggered the crisis. « Your mind made the decision, but your body refuses to follow » was my thinking at the time. Had I been aware of the CNS fluid circulation CCSVI issue, I could have better addressed the « attack ». The permanent damage wasn’t too important (mainly MS « hug ») and I was forced to retire from active life into contemplation. My husband Pierre was irritated, "What's wrong with you?". I patiently explained to him that I had MS and was having an « attack ». His attitude didn’t help his case, it only re-inforced my decision to leave him. But in the meantime, I rested for the 6 weeks it took me to recover.
I’ll conclude this post with more from the History of Kinesiology. www.oneillcollege.com
"Mid 1980s: An expert in electronic aircraft guidance systems, Richard Utt, added to the growing number of kinesiology systems by developing Applied Physiology... Richard Utt’s recognition of the significance of resolving these ‘hidden’ compensations via muscle balancing techniques was a significant development and led to longer lasting results for clients.
Late 1980s: American scientist, Charles Krebs developed LEAP (Learning Enhancement Acupressure Program)…In the 1990s Energetic Kinesiology continued to evolve with an increased emphasis on resolving physiological issues long term.
From these beginnings, kinesiology has blossomed to become a diversity of different types of kinesiology-based treatments. These new systems were developed by people who saw the incredible potential of the techniques because generally, they were not locked within the rigid Western medical and physiological models."
Tags: Multiple Sclerosis, Dr. John Thie, Touch For Health, Dr. George Goodheart, Applied Kinesiology, Dr. Jimmy Scott, Muscle Testing, Standard Process, CCSVI
« I returned from Seattle on Saturday, somewhat apprehensive as to how to relate to Pierre. His immediate approach was (redacted) and we had (redacted) on our arrival home. The next day, Sunday, he seemed distant, irritated by me. When we couldn’t find a restaurant which was capable of immediate service, he seemed happy to send me on my way – that is to eat in the Opera House- so he could eat lunch alone. « Pure (redacted) » as he put it, again on our return home.
Trying to sleep that night, my bladder inflamed, I felt that I hated him for his impositions, for taking his pleasures after having betrayed me. I went into my room to sleep.
The next day, Monday, a heavy heart all day. At French class ; very depressed, lost. Felt like crying as I drove home. Felt abandoned. Bladder irritated so that I feared infection.
Pierre cold, distant, an ice wall of passive resistance. The frustration and pain of a bladder infection merged with the sense of loss, betrayal, abandonment. My tears only vexed him, yes, he was annoyed.
I asked him what had happened, why he had changed in only 2 months, become so cold, so distant and indifferent. Why did he no longer hold me, no longer show any affection ? What had happened ?
He did not deny the change, simply said he had changed, he had no feelings left, was indifferent, needed time alone. I told him I didn’t understand, I wasn’t inclined to cling, I had my own life and left his to him.
Annoyed, he asked « What are you afraid of, are you afraid I will dump you ? » He threw this out as a challenge and I met it. « Yes »
It was so galling to think that our business which I didn’t want, had ruined our relationship, which I did want. And ruined my health as well. Left all in ruins.
I felt ruined, up against the wall of his negation.
I reminded him that I had seen the business through to the bitter end, that I had not shirked on my responsibilities. Did he recognize his responsibilities to me in as much as my health had been ruined ?
He responded that he never let anyone down materially, at least he didn’t fail at that. (Today’s comment. I didn’t pick up on his feelings of failure.)
I didn’t wish to sleep with him. (Maybe at first I went to bed with him but then moved.)
I felt such misery as never felt before. Emotional pain devouring, unrelenting, no ready pain killer available.
Then yesterday I decided on a course of action. I would train myself to write commercially by buying books and studying their style – copying childrens’ books, mysteries à la Agatha Christie, Romances. Study the market and write.
And prepare for the Law Record Exam to enroll in Law School next fall if the writing fell through.
I was obsessed with the idea I had not prepared for a career, had no means of making money, had not established myself and thus remained on an infantile level of development. Powerless where I had power and no means to project it. Lost, undeveloped promise, a waste of mind and talent.
I must prepare to be on my own. When I think thus I feel strong, capable. When I am the wife dominated in bed, I feel helpless, incompetent…
I was cold and businesslike with Pierre and told him I would sleep alone for the next week at least. He said something about depriving myself but seemed a bit upset. Also by my working in my study all evening, leaving him alone…" End of Journal entry.
Heeding my body worker/massage therapist Patricia’s recommendation, I visited Dr. Jimmy Scott for the first appointment on Jan 24, 1984 in San Francisco.
I don’t remember much except I was highly suspicious of him. (He writes « somewhat paranoid ». As it turns out, I had good reason to be « paranoid », though not for financial reasons which was my first thought. His fee was $90 an hour which in 1984 was very high for a non-medical alternative healer. He did heal me so I can’t complain of the price.) His notes follow :
"Endometriosis, was ballet dancer, Took swine flu vaccine, year married 1978, together since 1972, smallpox vaccine 1970 western europe, (married 1967, Mexico 1968 infection). PMS insomnia 4 year especially bad mothers side of the family, MS about 4 years ago , April 1980, signs at least 4 years earlier, recurrent bladder infections 15 years, never had much stamina, not breast fed, amalgam fillings mostly teens, always susceptible to colds etc, had migrains, extreme constipation foul gas, after ovulation symptoms worse, feels speedy, worse in morning, numb, tingling limbs, cold feet and hands after, some vision disturbance in right eye (migraine ?) caused by drug for endometriosis ? Always had severe cramps, mono age 9 ? Operations out – tonsils age 3, appendix age 13, uterus age 23/1972 endometriosis.
Weak nails, pale, born with infected nails !! Burning skin especially when tired and had MS pain, in humidity nerves feel « shorted », somewhat paranoid."
His notes faithfully describe my major health issues, history, what he considers important. I note the 2 vaccinations (which he considers an element in the development of MS), smallpox 1970 and swine flu (70’s). Endometriosis, intestinal problems, menstrual problems.
Mononucleosis at age 9 I now realize is VERY important since all MSers have the Epstein Barr Virus which causes Mono. The question arises after my awareness of the CCSVI blood circulation problem. The EBV virus re-awakens with Oxygen deficiency. Did poor blood circulation leave me vulnerable to the EBV virus, or did the Mono « deform » the veins to cause MS ? Perhaps the homeopathic remedy oscillococcinum would have prevented the illness, and with it the MS ? Another factor,
I can’t remember if Dr. Scott did more that first meeting than take my history and describe the treatment. He said he would determine and treat my allergies, in particular the food allergies, He would prescribe supplements which would help me detoxify in the first instance and nourish me thereafter. He would recommend my personalized ideal diet. And he would do « energy » work he had developed under the name Health Kinesiology (HK). He said he had healed many people including a man with Lung Cancer which the Oncologist was astounded to see disappear. (I didn’t know at the time how impressive such a cure could be.) I don’t know if he treated me in any way. He gave me instructions for the allergy test to take place on Feb 2, 1984.
While he had 250-300 items on hand – all grains, most nuts, many seeds, beans, peas and most legumes, most herbs and spices, dried dairy products and fruits, I was to bring cooked meat/fish (no added oil or spices etc), vegetables, fruit, eggs, fresh items in general.
Also anything I put on or into my body (like shampoo, perfume
toothpaste, also drugs, supplements vitamins minerals) also cat hair.
He ordered me not to eat, drink, smoke (I don’t smoke) or take drugs/supplements before the appt. I followed his instructions faithfully and prepared the items in multiple baggies which I assembled in a big paper bag to arrive on time for the appointment on Feb 2.
He was eager to begin. I could see he entered into each new patient’s life in a spirit of adventure and discovery, his enthusiasm was infectious.
He began by testing the strength of various muscles, palpating various points on my neck/head after each muscle test until the muscle proved strong. (He would eventually streamline the process. More on that later.)
I expected to ingest each item to be tested, but instead he placed the item on my navel and tested the strength of my right arm which I held up straight in a salute. If the arm remained strong, the item was OK for me, if the arm weakened it meant I was « allergic » to it. He defined allergy in terms of free flow of energy in the meridiens of Chinese medical theory. « Blocked » energy which weakened the test muscle (arm) meant I was allergic to the substance.
I was outraged. How could this be a valid test of anything ?
I nonetheless obediently underwent the whole procedure.
No no foods (as he put it) were :
No Lactose (milk sugar), no dairy
OK (Except old yoghurt, old kefir, old acidophilous milk, brie, camambert, muenster, limburger, morbier cheeses, ghee (pure butter fat).
No wheat, rye, barley oats (glutens)
No legumes – all peas, beans, peanuts, foemugreek, most gums,
No soy – oil, sprouts, sauce, tamari, miso, tofu, lecithin, most Vit E, alfalfa, carob, licorice
No honey
No coffee, tea, sugar, artificial flavors, colors, preservatives
No preserved meat (salami, hotdogs, ham etc.)
Avoid safflower and corn oils (do use, sesame, coconut oils and ghee)
No margarine
No Olive, pineapple, nutmeg, mace, chamomile, sarsparilla
Perfume and various chemical substances also weakened me.
By asking my body questions through the arm muscle he determined the following allergy picture : With overlaps the main allergies were to foods (80-85%), pollens (50-55%), chemicals (5-10%) and misc (5-10%).
My next appt was set for Feb 14 when he would determine my supplements. March 6 he would « fix » or correct the allergies, then determine my ideal diet and also determine emotional issues to be « balanced ».
I was outraged by his technique and feared I was being taken for a sucker by a quack. My friend Gary nearly had a fit when I told him about it. So why did I continue
I had paid for the information and I didn’t see any harm in trying. Also, I trusted Patricia who had recommended Dr. Scott’s treatment.
Dr. Scott told me that withdrawal from substances to which I was allergic (taken in the Kinesiology definition of disturbed energy circulation) would take 5 days. The first 2 or 3 days would be particularly difficult. Allergies create craving like an addiction, their removal brings a painful withdrawal.
For 2 days I lived sheer hell. I can’t remember what lack bothered me most, but I went through withdrawal as surely as if I had been a heroin addict. I can’t even imagine what a drug addict goes through, all I was withdrawing from was coffee, bread, butter, sugar, cakes, salami. My skin crawled, I was miserable.
But then, after the storm, the skies cleared, the sun shone and I could see. For years my right eye hadn’t focused properly, it had made me dizzy when I walked causing me to fear falling. Opthalmologists didn’t believe it was an MS symptom, they didn’t know what it was.
Well, the origin was a food intolerance « allergy ». The only time the vision disturbance returned was when shortly thereafter I took a Sulfa drug for cystitus. Once off the drug, my vision returned. I never re-experienced this disorder.
Now, that was lucky. It made me a believer, gave me the confidence to continue with Dr. Scott.
My next appointment took place on Feb 14. After « balancing » me, he tested supplements, principally Standard Process. These are plant and animal organ dried extracts which penetrate directly into the cells after having been chewed. I’ve been taking them since the February 14, 1984 appointment, that is to say 34 years. Aside from general healing, they have halted all tooth decay. After having removed the amalgam fillings and nickel based crowns in 1985 I’ve had no further dental work other than repair of previous work .
Chiropractor Dr. Michael Flanagan had this to say about Standard Process Supplements on Thisisms.com when I described my 1984-92 healing: CCSVI CCVBP, July 6, 2013 (See my blog post MS Food August 19, 2016.)
"Hello Vesta,
I have all of Dr. Royal Lee's books. He was a remarkable biochemist and organic farmer way ahead of this time. His whole food extracts are more on the order of neutraceuticals and physiological agents than simple vitament supplements. He was big on cofactors in vitamins long before anyone considered the importance of cofactors like rutins, hespirdins, bioflavinoids in vitamen C. Everyone else was focused on and isolating ascorbic acid. I am very familiar with all the Standard Process products. They are highly effective.”
Dr. Scott’s list of supplements was long (and therefore expensive). My needs were reduced fairly rapidly after that first appointment but the first bill shocked my budget. For each item Dr. Scott indicated when (breakfast, lunch, dinner, before bed ?) and how much I was to take. They were listed in order of priority on a form he had created. (Noted at the bottom : A CENTER FOR NUTRITION AND NATURAL HEALING (Copyright 1978, Jimmy Scott, Ph.D.)
A quick overview with daily doses follows: 2 E-Manganese, 4 Cataplex AC, 11 Wachter’s Calcium-Magnesium (not Standard Process), 4 Collagen C, 5 Hepatrophin, 2 Ostogen, 2 Organic Minerals, 2 Folic Acid-B-12, 2 B3-B6,
3 Bio-dent, 1 Inositol, 1 Zinc-Gluconate, 4 G, 3 Choline, 2 F-Perles, 2 tsp total A&E Polymulsion, 2E2, 2 Thytrophin, 3 Calsol, 2 Pancreatrophin, 1 B, 1 Cyruta Plus, 6 Multizyme, 2 Spleen, 2 Cholacol II, 4 Betafood, 2 Betacol, 1 tsp total di-sodium phosphate, 2 Comfrey-Pepsin, 2 Fen-Cho. Extra Max EPA ?
I introduced Evening Primrose Oil to him which tested 240mg per day (80 mg 3 times a day.)
I was frankly in a state of shock given the price and wondered if he was gouging me, since he sold them. He explained that I was in a highly toxic state and the supplements would help me de-toxify while nourishing me.
My next appointment took place on March 6, 1984. His notes indicate that first he fixed the allergies, second determined the diet and third worked on emotional issues.
Through muscle testing he determined that the MS issues were 40-45 % allergy, 10% nutritional deficiency, 40-45% emotional, .5% energy block and .5% unknown.
The endometriosis issues were 15-20% allergy, 10-15% nutritional deficiency, 30-35% emotional, 10-15% energy block, and ?? (not pollens)
I had already eliminated the items to which I was allergic. By this time my diet quality measured 62%. He organized the food items under « raw », « cooked » and « servings per week ». (His form was copyrighted 1982 – Jimmy Scott).
"Vegetables - Starchy, 1 raw, 1 cooked, 2 servings per week.
- Lo starchy, 8 raw, 3 cooked, 11 servings per week
Fruits – Acid 1
Sub-Acid – 1
Sweet – 1
Animal – Eggs, 6 raw, 2 cooked, 8 servings per week
Dairy, 0
Red Meats, 0
Organ Meats, 0
Poultry, 1 cooked, must eat with raw vegetables
Seafood, 4 raw
Nuts - 3 raw
Grains, 4 cooked, soak 8-12 hours
Seeds - 2 raw
Misc. - 3 cooked
Vegie Juice – 12 raw
Avoid these foods for reasons beside allergy – avocado, all sweet fruit, all grains, all high starch
Meals per day – 11
Max food per meal – 1 cup
Water per day – 40-45 oz
Salt per day – 0
Oil per day – ½ tsp
Avocado – 0
Papaya – all"
He also linked food categories in a complicated web – Milk Yoghurt, Fat & Oils, High Proteins, Low Starches, High Starches, Tomato, Acid Fruits, Sub-Acid fruits, Sweet Fruits, Melon (to be combined only with Acid and Sub-Acid fruits)
(An aside. Here in France it is common to eat Melon with Ham. That is a terrible food combination, the melon is digested well in advance of the protein so that it rots in the digestive track.)
This is a complicated, highly idealized diet prescribed by a perfectionist dietition. I did follow the basic outlines. My sister said raw eggs aren’t a good idea. I did begin to eat Sushi at this point. I didn’t soak my grains much. I religiously extracted the vegie juice. I probably drank more water, used more oil, used some salt in contradiction to his orders. But in general I followed his instructions, which meant I lost weight. That wasn't the purpose but there is only so much raw broccoli I want to eat.
I juiced twice a week and kept the raw juice 2 or 3 days, succeeding in drinking 12 cups a week. I had the impression the raw vegie juice penetrated directly into my brain/nervous system, it really gave me a boost.
At this point I wrote him what I would call a high minded MSer letter. Suspicious, authoritarian, exacting. It embarrasses me to think about it and I’ve lost it so can’t print it here. I demanded he provide testimony of results by other patients. I had already spent a great deal of money. I believed he was too interested in money.
He apparently wanted to evict me from his practice but his assistant prevailed upon him to keep treating me. He did give me references to 2 or 3 of his clients. My appt schedule up until that time - (Jan 24, Feb 2, Feb 14, March 6) had cost me $ 360 plus a hefty supplement bill. I needed to get some control over the finances and declared I would thenceforth come but once a month.
His muscle testing bordered on quackery as far as I was concerned. However, his technique worked and eventually healed me.
Within a year I began to study the practice of Kinesiology myself and learned to « muscle test. » After studying the foundation course for Kinesiology, Chiropractor John Thie’s Touch For Health, I took a week-end seminar course given by Dr. Scott of his Health Kinesiology technique. (I also began to study Acupressure at the Berkeley Acupressure Institute.)
Now, I knew Dr. Scott was traveling worldwide to give courses in Kinesiology, he was in the forefront of this new technique. However, he didn’t invent it. Writing this post I realize I knew next to nothing of the history of Applied Kinesiology.
So, let’s start over.
While Dr. Scott used the « ask the body » technique to develop much of his protocol, I believe everyone is treated for the same life issues at the beginning of an AK treatment. I won’t try to define these here, I need the input of a competent Kinesiologist.
Dr. Scott’s « ask the body » technique never uncovered the CCSVI aspect to my MS.
Quotes from www.oneillcollege.com
Reading the O’Neill College History of Kinesiology, I find this quote :
"1920s: American osteopaths, Frank Chapman, DC, and Charles Owen, proposed that many symptoms of diseases had their origins in sluggish lymph flow..."
Then we have :
"1930s: American chiropractor, Terence Bennett, DO, came up with his own model for restoring health based on proper blood flow.Like Chapman, Bennett had worked out his own set of reflex points. He called these ‘Neurovascular Reflexes’ and his body of work ‘Neurovascular Dynamics’.
1937: Chapman and Owen postulated the existence of a new heretofore unrecognised reflex they called the ‘Neurolymphatic Reflexes’ and their findings were published.
1960s: Detroit-based chiropractor,George Goodheart… pioneered a system that brought together work done by his predecessors: Chapman’s Points (for lymphatic function); Bennett’s Points (for vascular function); his own origin/insertion technique (for muscular problems); cranial bone manipulation after William Sutherland, DO."
So now we have points for neurovascular function as well as points for neurolymphatic function, and it is exactly these functions which CCSVI treatment addresses. So apparently I was being treated for CCSVI inadvertently by Dr. Scott.
However, I needed more than the AK neuro-vascular and neuro-lymphatic treatments when I was struck by an « attack » in March 1985. I knew at the time that my decision to leave my husband had triggered the crisis. « Your mind made the decision, but your body refuses to follow » was my thinking at the time. Had I been aware of the CNS fluid circulation CCSVI issue, I could have better addressed the « attack ». The permenent damage wasn’t too important (mainly MS « hug ») and I was forced to retire from active life into contemplation for six weeks. My husband was irritated, I had to patiently explain to him the I had MS and was having an « attack ». His attitude didn’t help his case, it only re-inforced my decision to leave him.
Continued Quotes from O’Neill www.oneillcollege.com
"1972: Goodheart wrote the “vertebral challenge”, based upon the work of upper cervical specialist, Leon Lewis Truscott, DC, PhD; and his work on the muscle-acupuncture meridian-organ relationship using muscle testing feedback for both diagnosis and therapeutic efficacy. Interest in Applied Kinesiology expanded from George Goodheart’s lectures and Applied Kinesiology study groups being led by his best students formed throughout the US.
This marked the beginnings of the new science of Applied Kinesiology.
1973: Initially there were six of Goodheart’s protégéeswho would gather at his practice, and over time then set up study groups. There was a gathering of these study group leaders who became known as the Dirty Dozen…
1979 (sic-Correct date 1972) Chiropractor, John Thie, one of the “Dirty Dozen”, took the basic techniques that had been worked out in Applied Kinesiology and developed a new system that he called ‘Touch for Health’."
(Dr Thie died in 2005 of Prostate Cancer.)
See the following site about Dr John Thie and Touch for Health www.dynamicchiropractic.com/mpacms/dc/article.php?id=50389
Dynamic Chiropractic Sept 14, 2005 A Memorial of Silence for Dr John Thie by Joseph Kating Jr PhD
(My emphasis)
"Wedding AK with his populist sentiments, John believed that many of the methods of AK could be taught to and practiced as a method of self-care for all people. He repeatedly urged Dr. Goodheart to author a text for the public on AK. Although Goodheart was not averse to dissemination of his emerging methods to nonprofessionals, he grew weary of Thie's nudging. Finally, in exasperation, he let Dr. Thie know that if he wanted such a book, John should write it himself.
The prospect of authoring a book was challenging, but John was resourceful. The first edition of Touch for Health: A Practical Guide to Natural Health Using Acupuncture, Touch & Massage, authored in collaboration with then-chiropractic student Mary Marks, was published in 1972. The workbook has since been translated into more than a dozen languages and has sold in excess of 500,000 copies; the method has caught the attention of laymen and health professionals in several disciplines, and has spawned national and international workshops and certification programs.
Ironically, one of the arenas in which the TFH manual and the movement it spawned were not fully accepted was within the ranks of the International College of Applied Kinesiology (ICAK). John, the founding chairman of the ICAK, was not supported in his vision of an AK program for laypeople. Whether for ideological or economic reasons, Dr. Thie's populist ideas were rejected by some of his peers. Thie maintained his membership in the ICAK, but his mission TFH would take him in a different direction. Touch for Health has evolved independently in the years since.
The commitment to train nonprofessionals in TFH/AK procedures required that John think through some of the same issues that confronted the founder of chiropractic. By its very nature, TFH is an unlicensed practice, and nonprofessionals who employ it run some risk of violating medical statutes. John's solution, like that of D.D. Palmer, was to declare the method nontherapeutic. Thie moved away from the integration of AK and chiropractic clinical diagnosis.Touch for Health, he insisted, was aimed not at relieving particular conditions or disorders, but at improving the flow of subtle energy through the meridians of the body so as to enhance health. As well, he taught, TFH could be a useful means for early identification of deviation from health."
Please find below a continuation of quotes from the O-Neill College
History of Kinesiology (Quotes from www.oneillcollege.com)
(my emphasis).
"1982: Alan Beardall established the concept of the body as a “Biocomputer”. This concept determined that the subconscious appears to process data in a binary way…this simple “yes” or “no” response of the muscle is the summation of all the factors influencing the brain and central nervous system, from the level of your structural alignment to your nutritional and emotional status. In addition, the subconscious readout of muscle function is the interface with the other energy systems of the body, including the meridian systems. As such, these “yes” or “no” responses can also indicate states of energetic balance.
Energetic Kinesiology established.
…the muscle response is used primarily as a form of biofeedback. Hence, in these systems you are “monitoring”, not “testing” muscle function. The redefinition of the term “muscle testing” to “muscle monitoring” is to denote that we are now accessing only the integrity of the muscle response, and not its strength. »
These concepts of Biocomputer and Biofeedback describe well Dr. Scott’s work as I understand it. As one can see by the dates, he was working, and doubtless contributing, to the development of Applied Kinesiology.
He told me he began his development of HK Health Kinesiology in 1978. See healthkinesiology.co.nz/origins-of-hk/dr-jimmy-scott/
I began working with Dr. Scott in January 1984. However, I needed more than the AK neuro-vascular and neuro-lymphatic treatments when I was struck by an « attack » in March 1985. I knew at the time that my decision to leave my husband had triggered the crisis. « Your mind made the decision, but your body refuses to follow » was my thinking at the time. Had I been aware of the CNS fluid circulation CCSVI issue, I could have better addressed the « attack ». The permanent damage wasn’t too important (mainly MS « hug ») and I was forced to retire from active life into contemplation. My husband Pierre was irritated, "What's wrong with you?". I patiently explained to him that I had MS and was having an « attack ». His attitude didn’t help his case, it only re-inforced my decision to leave him. But in the meantime, I rested for the 6 weeks it took me to recover.
I’ll conclude this post with more from the History of Kinesiology. www.oneillcollege.com
"Mid 1980s: An expert in electronic aircraft guidance systems, Richard Utt, added to the growing number of kinesiology systems by developing Applied Physiology... Richard Utt’s recognition of the significance of resolving these ‘hidden’ compensations via muscle balancing techniques was a significant development and led to longer lasting results for clients.
Late 1980s: American scientist, Charles Krebs developed LEAP (Learning Enhancement Acupressure Program)…In the 1990s Energetic Kinesiology continued to evolve with an increased emphasis on resolving physiological issues long term.
From these beginnings, kinesiology has blossomed to become a diversity of different types of kinesiology-based treatments. These new systems were developed by people who saw the incredible potential of the techniques because generally, they were not locked within the rigid Western medical and physiological models."
Tags: Multiple Sclerosis, Dr. John Thie, Touch For Health, Dr. George Goodheart, Applied Kinesiology, Dr. Jimmy Scott, Muscle Testing, Standard Process, CCSVI
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